How Letting Go Leads To Coaching Mastery
What are the gateways to coaching mastery? What principles can we use that open up the space, so something bigger than us can come through. Something that fundamentally changes the coaching conversation.
Karen Kimsey-House says one such principle is letting go of our need to “get it right”. When we can drop beneath the need for results, or “being a good coach”, we can relax into the spaciousness of what’s really present.
What is coaching from source?
As we’re all aware, becoming a masterful coach is more than just learning tools to help people reach their goals. But what is the secret sauce that leads to becoming a great coach – a truly transformational agent of change?
Coaching from source is about harnessing the ability to put yourself into a different quality of being, one in which you let go of your “coaching persona” and the idea that you yourself must steer everything that happens.
Being in this space feels effortless, timeless; things come through you that don’t necessarily feel like they’re entirely “of you” and the connection with the client becomes like a dance – much like how athletes describe being “in the zone”.
Learning how to get into this space is an art form in itself, as trying to get there is the antithesis of being in the state you desire to be in.
Opening to source
It starts with trusting that you’re always in relationship with source, with “consciousness that is larger than our own awareness” – something which is always there, but our ability to tune into it comes and goes.
Opening to source means letting go into not knowing, which is vulnerable. The key shift is moving your certainty from knowing where the session is going to knowing that something exciting is going to happen.
It means letting go of looking good and getting it right; which requires relinquishing the need for validation. Some of the things that create the foundation to allow this to happen are interpersonal work, self-acceptance, clarity of purpose and having a meaningful life philosophy.
Karen’s preferred method to drop into source is to go via the body; to relax, take a deep breath and visualize the heart opening. Paying attention to posture whilst coaching and making sure you’re relaxed and open rather than hunched over is also helpful.
Coming from a place of service
This opening is an evolutionary step for us as individuals, so to some extent we can view coaching as a spiritual practice – particularly if we come from a place of deep service, of dedication to contributing.
When you coach from source you also make space for the ongoing evolution of your client. “Coach the person, not the problem” is the motto at Coactive Coaching Institute, rather than focusing purely on the issue or goal they’ve come to you with. This opens up the possibility of having a much broader, deeper and more transformative impact on the client.
Coming from a place of love is also a powerful practice and doesn’t mean being soft and fluffy – it can also be fierce or confronting. But if the energy you’re holding is loving, the chances are that whatever you say will land.
Coaching from source means you’re open to all possible courses of action and solutions that are available to the client, meaning that despite the lack of explorative structure this is actually the best way to get inspired, sustainable results for your client.
The skill is learning to holding a sense of direction whilst staying open; being able to hold the relevant intention for the session whilst being open to whatever comes up and seeing how that serves the exploration.
Ultimately, despite the expansive concept, coaching from source is about being more conscious and aware, and thereby intentional; building the capacity to tune in to what’s in alignment and following the right thread.