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Episode 24

Evolutionary Relationships

We live in a time where the term “Connection” is a buzzword; but what is it exactly that we’re looking for and how do we attain it? And what, if anything, does this quest have to do with the evolution of our species?

In this conversation with spiritual teacher Patricia Albere, we explore a new type of relationship that is becoming possible, what it is to experience an “interpenetrating” state of being, and the crucial distinctions that allow us to practice connection in this profound way.

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Evolutionary relationships

Maslow’s hierarchy refers to the transcending level; these relationships are consciously chosen and explore the consciousness that’s happening in the space between you. They are not practical relationships – no one is trying to heal the other or trying to help each other achieve goals.

An evolutionary relationship, as Patricia defines it, involves being deeply present and open to mystery, leaning in together in the moment, not trying to get anywhere or accomplish anything but intending to get as close as possible to the emergent truth.

This is like being connected more to the future in the moment (the evolving moment); where is the present leaning into.

From there it’s possible to move into an interpenetrating state of being: boundaries dissolve in the interpersonal space and the experience is of being inside each other and the experience.

How does it work?

Rather than coming from the individualized, egoic self, you come from the “origination point” – the formless part of you that is the deepest inner experience of self (but not the universal). Learning how to find this point takes some practice.

If you don’t learn where to come from so that you can become one, you stay separate. It’s not about being in witnessing consciousness or being in your body and noticing sensations, because then you’re still two separate individuals. It’s about merging into a space together and tuning in to what’s there.

That said, in this practice you are present with everything you are and that includes your uniqueness and the other person is therefore also really deeply seeing you as you are in this space. In this contact, projections fall away, and you feel the immediacy of what is actually real – this is a pure form of contact that is actually very rare.

Why evolutionary relationships are the future

Evolutionary relationships are the next step in evolution; they bring us into a space where separation is no longer experienced, where what is not easeful drops away, where we transcend the egoic individual identity and align with the emerging Now.

In an evolutionary relationship, the priority is not so much about getting better but about dissolving into a purely generative state of “I am – maybe”. This is beyond the state of meditation, the “I am”, and into a place where that which we are witnessing and experiencing is being pulled forward into something new.

This next phase in our evolution is not about being driven by technology but by union with the divine – and from that state of union asking, How do I fit in here and what can I do?

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About Patricia

Photo of Patricia Albere
Patricia Albere

Patricia Albere is a contemporary spiritual teacher who is pioneering a form of spiritual awakening that goes beyond the individual into a new space of mutual awakening. She is the author of Evolutionary Relationships: Unleashing the Power of Mutual Awakening, and the founder and director of the Evolutionary Collective. A master transformative teacher, Patricia has worked with more than 200,000 people in groups over the last 40 years.

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