I recently had a conversation with Staci Haines that challenged me in an unexpected way.

Staci’s work explores the relationship between inner transformation and social change.

And as we spoke, I noticed something uncomfortable in myself.

I feel like one of the main challenges we face today is the massive increase in polarization.

I don’t want to deepen divisions that already exist, so I’ve felt wary of certain types of activism.

My deepest commitment is to act from unity and care for the whole.

But as Staci and I got deeper into the conversation, I realized there was another side to my stance.

My commitment to act from unity contained a subtle passivity. A bypass. And it reduced my capacity for healthy agency.

I couldn’t take a stand.

My non-action came from a place of love, and a deep desire for the well-being of the collective. But it was also keeping me stuck.

Because if we only have inner work and we don’t have action, then nothing changes.

But if we take action from fear, aggression, and reactivity, where does that lead us?

After speaking with Staci, I realized that this is exactly the tension she is addressing.

How do we engage with the world without becoming part of the polarization?

How do we take a stand without making others wrong?

How do we create a new kind of activism — rooted in presence, longing, love, and justice?

Where inner work opens into outer work

The core idea that Staci is sharing is something very similar to what we explored a few weeks ago — an invitation to widen our sphere of concern. To take responsibility for the commons, for the earth, for future generations, and for collective well-being.

To shift the questions we ask ourselves from:
What do I long for?
to:
What do we long for?

And:

What future do we want to hand over?

This shift is part of the great work coaches can do. To do the inner work so that we can hold the complexity we’re in right now while staying rooted in our sense of collective vision and longing.

And this is where embodiment becomes so important.

Our bodies hold our fears, our wounds, and our survival strategies — but they also hold our deepest longings.

Through embodied practice, we develop the capacity to stay present when things become uncomfortable. To face pain without immediately turning away from it. To remain connected to ourselves, each other, and what we care about most.

And perhaps this is where inner work and outer work truly meet.

The more awareness and presence we cultivate, the more capable we become of holding complexity without polarizing.

The more we heal, the less likely we are to act from our wounds.

The more conscious we become, the more capable we are of responding rather than reacting.

And the more coherent we become, the more we can enact justice — orienting ourselves to truth, beauty, and goodness.

The very capacities we cultivate through inner work are exactly what these times are asking of us.

Lessons from the dying

Later in the conversation, Staci shared something that has stayed with me.

Again and again, when people reach the end of their lives, the questions that seem to matter most are remarkably simple:

Did I love?

Was I loved?

Did I make a difference?

That last question lands differently after this conversation.

As coaches, we make a difference in the lives of everyone we work with. And those impacts ripple out into families, communities, companies, and the wider world.

And perhaps that’s part of the invitation here.

To ask ourselves not only:
Who am I becoming?

But:
What am I here to contribute?

Imagine the world we can create from this place.

With care,
Joel