I wanted to share with you my experience of what it feels like to have insights and grow. This experience feels somewhat akin to subject-object theory in developmental psychology.
Fear not – lengthy theoretical discussions are not abound!
But……..there are distinct stages that we move through as we develop. These are loosely related to age although some develop further and faster than others. We make sense of the world in different ways at each of these stages. The main tenet of this development is that what we are subject to (i.e. can’t see) at one stage becomes an object in our awareness at the next. We transcend and include our previous stage.
For me, this experience is exhilarating and shocking at the same time. One moment nothing, then the next – BAM! Some way that I had been seeing the world, a belief or concept becomes visible. It’s as though it’s just broken off from the matrix.
It is accompanied by a sense of shock! I can now hold the belief or concept I held about the world in my hand, turn it around like a toy to see its contours for the first time. Before it was an unquestionable truth, an absolute, in fact I didn’t even know that I was bound by it.
Now it has lost its power, even if only a little at first. It no longer casts a spell on me. More choice and space arises, as well as subtlety of perception. It is as though I have just separated from the matrix a little more.
Freedom from the concept that bound me…..this is a not an intellectual exercise but a heartfelt experience.
I don’t know where these moments come from. There’s a very mysterious aspect to them. I wish I could make them happen!
We’ve all heard the onion metaphor. To me it feels backwards. I feel as though I’m an onion unpeeling from the inside out. The centre is dense and heavy and as I move through the layers I become more spacious.
I’m hoping I might break through that last layer one day.
Does this description resonate with you? I’d love to hear similar experiences of yours!
much love
Joel
5 Comments
Joel, You are describing what Adyashanti (Adyashanti.org) calls an experience that is crucial for spiritual awakening. We take necessary steps toward awakening by no longer believing your own thoughts and beliefs. Our most tightly held opinions especially cause us to suffer. Though I still often find myself with a death-grip hold on a few of my beliefs, the political ones being the hardest, I want to let go of these the most. They can create feelings of anguish, disgust, rage, and discouragement.Your insights are heartfelt and soulfelt!
Thanks for reaching out Cynthia! It feels as though there is a difference between relfecting on our beliefs and seeing intellectually that they’re not true. But then there’s another level where we just feel it with our whole being. Then there’s no doubt.
I feel the death grip of beliefs! Sometimes it feels as if we have no choice as to when to put them down.
I also wonder how more spiritual views of awakening align with developmental psychological views. There seems to be an overlap in that the more people develop in both those streams, the more fluid, flexible and less identified in their personality.
Joel
Beautiful Anna! Thanks for reaching out and sharing your experience :-) Joel
Joel, You are describing what Adyashanti (Adyashanti.org) calls an experience that is crucial for spiritual awakening. We take necessary steps toward awakening by no longer believing your own thoughts and beliefs. Our most tightly held opinions especially cause us to suffer. Though I still often find myself with a death-grip hold on a few of my beliefs, the political ones being the hardest, I want to let go of these the most. They can create feelings of anguish, disgust, rage, and discouragement.Your insights are heartfelt and soulfelt!
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Thank you Joel for this! It totally resonates with me and just reading about “it” again made me stop for 5 minutes and drop into a more spacious place.
warmest.
Anna